defythrice

( James Potter )

I'm sure you'll all be glad to know they're all gone. Merry fucking Christmas to you.

[Lily]
It hurts. We have to find them. We have to. I can't-

[Canon!Sirius]
You've got your real mum here, Sirius. Walburga's not her. Mum is.

Lesson finally learned! These children took FOREVER to learn to build a bloody FORT. I mean...REALLY. Anyway...now that they're successful fort builders, the next step is battle tactics. Fake battle, of course...Hardly the point.

So I broke a vase, but that's HARDLY the issue here. I fixed it!

I am the best adult to ever be an adult. Pretty sure.

I officially give up. I'm going to eat ice cream and sleep. Don't set anything on fire while I'm gone.

[Sirius (canon)]
So...you know I love you and I'll protect you until the ends of the earth and all that jazz without blinking an eye...

However, you should probably stop pissing everyone off. Just maybe. Especially if they're planning on trying to do anything about it. Keeping the peace might be the best plan at this point...even if some of these people are...not people I feel like talking to. Just...you know. Let things cool down for a bit.

On a less serious note, we need to do something. Plan a prank. Anything. TEACH HARRY HOW TO BE AN ANIMAGUS, MAYBE! Do you think that's something he'd want to learn? Do you think he's already learned? That could be troubling. As his parent, I'm supposed to teach him things and that's really all I have to offer that's interesting. I mean...except for stories about my life and that's not nearly as fun as learning how to be an animagus.
[/Sirius]

Things seem to be just as I left them. Not sure if that's good or bad.

Added in later...

I also kindly ask that you leave my son alone. Thank you. I'm not saying you have to agree with him, but I'm saying I'd like you to quit insulting him. Thank you.

GODDAMMIT! CAN WE ALL STOP FIGHTING FOR TWO SECONDS? I just...I just want that. Maybe for a loooooong time. Everyone stop insulting everyone and find a way to get along. That's all I want.

[Harry (Canon)]
So...on a scale of 1 to 10, how interested would you be in learning how to be an animagus?

Do you know how already?

And because I asked them not to insult you, please don't go out of your way to insult anyone else. I hate this I know I don't have the most room to talk, but...just for my own sanity and so your mother doesn't become a murderer (because she will if she sees people attacking her baby).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY POTTER AND gross...Snape. Ew LILY SNAPE!

[Lily]
So I know you girls are doing...whatever it is you're doing tonight, so have fun. I have PRESENTS, though...so...I think I deserve some attention...even for a second. Just present giving affection!

[Sirius and Remus (canon)]
If Lily and Lily are going to do something not involving hanging out here, do you two want to come over.

Wouldn't want to get in trouble or whatever with Andromeda because I wanted to spend time with you or whatever, but it hasn't been the three of us...uh...at all since we got here. I guess we can invite Tonks if her not-really-her-mother will get angry about it. But as there was going to be drinking involved, I don't think the kid would fit in so well.

Oh...and what're we doing about the Full? Marauders ride again?

[Remus Lupin (Canon)]
Soooo....what's up with you and Tonksie? And I guess Sirius by extension...

[Hexed away from the children]
Thinking about Halloween used to make things better and now it's making them worse. Fucking Peter...

Yeah. Fuck this bullshit.

[Lily]
If you weren't you...and I weren't trying to be the person I'm supposed to be, I would be helping Sirius. Can't meet our son in jail.

Fuck.

LILY! LILY! REMUS AND SIRIUS ARE FIGHTING AND CALLING EACH OTHER NAAAAAAAAMES!

Children are hilarious. Especially the little ones. I just called a doo doo head. I couldn't even stop laughing for long enough to feel insulted. Apparently that was the wrong response. He was very stompy after that.

[Remus]
Uhh...there's two of you, but this is for...uh...the one that...well, my Remus, I assume.

So, I'm-
I don't really know-
How do you start-

So what's up, Wolfmeister? Sorry

[SIRIUS MOTHERFUCKING BLACK]
I really need to figure out how to distinguish between you three. This is getting complicated.

I'm building a blanket fort. I bet it's better than some of the things you all are doing. Then again, blanket forts are pretty much better than most anything.

[Lily Potter]
Can I just say...that I'm already mentally exhausted? Oh, and can we put in a doggy door? You think we'd be allowed? then Padfoot can visit whenever he wants or needs. We could come up with a way of warning him not to come in, too.

[Evans Lily Snape]
Warding this correctly took a bit of me trying not to childishly gag...but anyway...What is your take on all this stuff? Do you have a take? You're the influential one. You Lilys should put your influential head powers together...I'll take notes.

[Sirius]
I guess this'll go to all of you. I don't know. Anyway...I've asked Lily for a doggy door for the room. So...you know. If we do, we'll figure out a system to let you know when not to come inside. Otherwise, feel free.

Sirius...

He-

Why?

I need-
Please.

P- ...W-

Dear Mentally Unstable Person Who Brought Us Here,

In case you weren't aware already, you left our son - our ONE YEAR OLD son - all on his own with Voldemort. It's a lot for you to understand, I'm sure, but if you'd kindly let us return to get our son or give him to us, I think we'd be more suited to do whatever it is you've got planned.

No love,
James F. Potter.

P.S. Oh, and in case you're wondering, the F stands for "Fucking"